No parent wants to have to break the news to their kids that they are getting divorced. This can completely change their lives and many parents dread having this conversation when the time comes. Telling your children about divorce and talking to them about the process is difficult and you may not know where to begin.
There are several tips for talking to your kids about this type of news that you can use to make the conversation less difficult.
How To Break The News
Giving your kids bad news is never fun, but the news of divorce is a particularly difficult conversation to have. You and your spouse may want to use some of these tips and techniques to tell your kids initially about your divorce. You and your spouse should:
- Tell your kids at the same time – be sure all your children hear the news at the same time and from both of you, together. Presenting a more unified front can make the news come across better and you do not want one of your children to tell the others without you knowing.
- Make a plan – it can help to think about what you’re going to say beforehand, rather than completely winging it. Planning out what to say can also help you avoid developing a narrative of “fault” or blame which can be helpful for children.
Breaking the news initially is one of the more challenging parts of this process. However, continuing to discuss and keep an open conversation about divorce with your kids is also important.
How To Support Your Kids
Divorce will be difficult for you and your spouse, but it will also be hard on your kids. Continuing to support them during this time is another important part of the process. You can do this by:
- Avoiding arguments with your spouse in front of them
- Making it clear they do not have to choose sides/not assigning blame to anyone
- Allowing them to process their emotions with you
- Answering their questions
- Keeping them updated about how their lives will stay the same or potentially change after the divorce
- Reassuring them
- Giving them enough time to adjust to the news and any upcoming changes
Your kids are probably one of your top priorities and it’s crucial that you be there for them as much as you can during this time. Keep your messaging clear and simple and continue to support them the best you can.
